I have a very real dilemma. It involves working on a full-time job, which requires an expensive move back to where I came from three months ago. The alternative is to stay where I am, live on what I can make here which is not a visible or reliable amount since basically there is no work.
That may sound like something simple to resolve by going back to my job but there is more involved than just money. My passion is writing. When I worked a full-time job like the one I left there was no time or energy for my writing. I was so exhausted when I got home all I could do was crash. I felt frustrated because so much I wanted to write about was passing me by. I worried that when the job part of my life was past and I finally had time to write again, I wouldn’t be able to go back in my head and recapture what I’d seen and heard with the same impact it had when I observed it.
With the speed that things are changing in the world right now the news is old before you can write it down so it can’t wait for retirement to get into my blogs.
The weeks I have had here without the pressure of working 24/7 have stirred up the urgent necessity to write and get the words out to anyone who will read my blogs. I not only feel a calling to write but more importantly to write about what is happening, where we are headed, like that messenger on the wall with the trumpet to send the warning. I feel it is imperative that I search every day for the newest happenings and get them out even if it is just by printing off what I read, putting it up with the writer’s credit for anyone who will come by and read.
I have noticed that many of the people writing the Internet news are encouraging others who read to share it anywhere they can, so they too feel the urgency that I do for getting the words out while we still can. This is a special time in history like none witnessed before. It is all moving in a specific direction with one purpose. The threats to deprive us of freedom of speech and communication on websites and blogs are very real and I believe will happen soon. The people who want to control the world are moving quickly to accomplish that and the faster we awaken people to the threat the faster they move to stop us.
And that is my dilemma, the need for an income and the time to write and then there are the blocks that seem to hinder my progress in any direction but right where I am. Too many to be coincidence.
A few weeks ago when I felt sure I needed to go back to my job there were lots of reasonable rental houses in the ads for the town where it is. I was also considering a couple of jobs in another town and there were some reasonable houses there too.
I was ready to leave and a big lump came up on the back of my hand making it so painful to drive I had to give up the three-day trip.
Then my hand got better and once again I was ready to leave with motels booked along the way. I was packed and ready to leave on Saturday. On Friday I took my husband for a routine blood test and they told him results would get to his doctor the next week. Thirty minutes later I got a call from his doctor advising me to take him directly to the emergency room of the hospital because of what the blood test showed. How did he even get the results that quickly? He needed a blood transfusion. It was too late for an outpatient procedure and it wasn’t critical enough for hospitalization. They couldn’t do it until the following Tuesday, that is tomorrow. In addition they want me to take him to another larger town for a test they can’t do here.
I took all my sick leave and all my recreation leave and gained three months off to help him settle in. I’ve used up all my leave time and I am stopped again already a week late in getting back to work. Now I am going to be two weeks late and I don’t think they are going to give me any more time. So maybe that decision, that part of the dilemma has been decided for me.
The rental house I wanted and was to see on Tuesday was mysteriously pulled, not off the market but off the viewing and availability until further notice. I looked at the other houses and suddenly none of them seemed to suit.
I looked at the houses in the other town where I’d applied for work and none of them looked as good as they had. All the new listings were too expensive. All of a sudden I seem to have one choice — The house I am living in, the town I don’t want to be in.
It just occurred to me as I sit here writing that I feel a little like Jonah. I got the idea to move here to my husband’s birthplace in November, or at least I thought it was my idea.
My idea then turned into a new plan to stay where I was, on my job and let my husband come here and live. We would commute until I retired. The story is too long to explain how that all changed and I ended up living here while my husband was still in the hospital in the town we were moving away from.
When I got here I didn’t like the town, the people or the weather and I still don’t. My goal was to get back to my town, my job. Then the hindrances started. So I looked for work and found none. Then I looked in another area and found a couple of possibilities but no houses to rent. So I said, that is it, I am moving back to the town I love and the job I have.
Perhaps I am like Jonah, trying to run away from the place that God wanted me to go which is a place where I have time to write and cry out to the people, warning them of what is coming — here where I am right now.
In this place I have a nice house and a large safe yard for the dog and my garden. I have plenty of time to research the news every day, write my own take on what is happening or cut and paste the writers words to get the news on the times to my blog and anyone who will read. In which case I should stop worrying about income and trust God to take care of us while I stand on the tower and blow the trumpet. But I do dislike this place so much and would really like to jump on the first ship and flee to Tarshish but I’m not sure I want to meet up with God’s whale.
3 But Jonah rose up to flee to Tarshish from being in the presence of the Lord and went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish – Jonah 1:3
17 Now the Lord had prepared and appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. Jonah 1:17
1And the word of the Lord came to Jonah the second time, saying, 2Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and preach and cry out to it the preaching that I tell you.Jonah 3:1-2