So now I can practice what I preach … the news I got yesterday was easy to blow off at first. I’ll just be positive, not worry, not think about it, pretend it didn’t happen or pretend it will be alright. No I can trust God to take care of it for me. Can I, will I? Here is my chance to let Him take care of me.
When I got this job I actually thought maybe I’d have an easy ride for a while at least. I have been through so much with jobs since I came out here. I’ve learned lessons, gotten closer to God, found many answers to what He expects of me. I admit I was hoping that things would go well for a long while. I was looking to become permanent and get a long-term contract. They had talked to me in the beginning about 3-4 years if I went permanent and I thought that would be what I would go for. At the end of that maybe I could retire.
But now I may only have a year, if that, and then what? Will I be able to get another job as good as this one? I’ll be a year older, further from what they want to hire. Can I put aside enough money in a year to help us? Where will we move that we can afford to live on what money we will have if I can’t get a job?
I tell myself to stop thinking about it. I need to leave it in God’s hands and make the most of whatever time I have. I can learn a lot, gain new experience I haven’t had to this point. Just as there was this job waiting for me there will be another. If God got me this job He can get me another. And there is always a chance that it will all come right and the job will still be there and I can go permanent. The boss didn’t say it was absolute that it wouldn’t change, just absolute that at this time we were only guaranteed work until next April, if we made it through the application and interview part and got a new contract this April.
The government could change and still continue the program as planned. As David and I discussed it we couldn’t see how they would be able to stop the program they set in motion. It involves so many more people than just the six of us who are the remote support officers in this area. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of people involved. It would be hard to continue without workers like us. Someone has to do our job so why not us?
As you can see this has been going round and round in my mind. It should be easy for me. I am the one who writes all the encouraging words about faith and trust and grace. I’m telling you this because I have to admit I am not as spiritual as I’d like to be. I have to admit I am having trouble with this turn of events and I want it to go away, go back to the way it was when I had years ahead of me to work on the job I love. I have to trust God that it will work out while accepting that His plan may not be the same as my plan but it will be a better plan.
So I’m going to go one day at a time, do the best job I can and learn as much as possible. When the time comes I’ll put in the application and do the interview. Then when (not if) I get a new contract until next year, even if it is just a temporary contract, I will still work a day at a time and wait on God to see what He decides is best for me, what fits His plan for me. In the end it will be best; He won’t let me fall off the road into a ditch so why should I fear?
That is what I want to do and I will ask God to take my hand and lead me though it because I can’t do it on my own.
The bravest choice you can make is to be yourself and let God lead.