Nessa-Sari _____ Fill in the blank

This is Nessa Sari _____ fill in the blank with whatever you feel about her at the moment. She is the newest edition to my life, arriving in August of last year. My husband was quite upset when he found out about her, which was not until I was on the way to the airport to pick her up. My only excuse was that she was necessary to my life, which didn’t mean anything to him or change his attitude of total nonacceptance.

This is an ongoing problem we have had since we got married, my love of Bull Terriers and my inability to live my life without one in it. When we met I let him know right at the first that the dog went with the package deal. At that time the dog was Sassy, my white bully who had been with me through thick and thin for many years of my single life. Before her there was Zeus.

We had been in a bad earthquake the first year we were together (me and Sassy, not the husband). It happened early in the morning and we leaped from the bed with things flying through the air from shelves and tables. Getting to the door was very difficult and Sassy thought she could help out by barking. Her large water dish had emptied all its contents onto the floor which made it a bit slippery. I thought I’d go out through the garage only to find it wouldn’t open without electricity so paddled through the spilled water to go out the back door. We slept in the car for nights, afraid to go back into the house.

Then we spent a winter in Montana in a massive two story house with a miniscule heater in one room. I was working for a company in California doing my jobs on computer and sending the completed work in weekly. It was so cold in the computer room that I wore a heated electric blanket around my body and chair and Sassy crawled under it by my feet. When we ventured out for her pee breaks the cold would start freezing her ears and nose hairs and she’d start sneezing and shaking her head. We’d end up huddled by the tiny heater with me picking the snow balls from between her toes. We shared a down sleeping bag in front of the fire more than one night.

We had been through a lot together and she always slept on the bed with me, under the covers in winter. Needless to say this addition of a husband to my life was upsetting but being the awesome bully she was Sassy adapted quite well. I put a dog bed on my side of the bed and explained to her how it would be and bless her little bully soul; she never tried to get back on the bed but accepted her place on the floor next to me.

I guess when she went across the rainbow bridge, one of the darkest days in my life at that point, my husband thought that was it with the ugly dogs. Hah, little did he know that the Bull Terrier infection ran deep in my blood and the death of one would never be the end of my addiction to their special place in my heart.

Next was Maggie, an older brindle girl who was deaf as a post. She moved to Florida with us and then yes, she came to Australia too. She was in quarantine for five months but finally got to come to her home in the new land. Then next came Wally, the Jack Russel who was to be her hearing so I could find her when she vanished in our big yard. Since they became inseparable when I called Wally they would both show up so it worked as planned. Then all too soon Maggie was taken by cancer and Wally was alone but not for long.

Jelly Bean was the youngest Bull Terrier I’d had, just 7 weeks old when she arrived on her plane in Brisbane. She traveled home with me, wrapped around my neck, terrified of the windshield wipers keeping the pouring rain off our windscreen. Wally fell instantly in love with JB and raised her like his own pup. She was a little smaller than him when she arrived on the scene but as I warned him she soon towered over him. She loved him too much to hurt him though he did get caught up in more than one hucklebuck or bully run and toppled over. Mostly JB did her runs in large figure 8’s in the side yard and he just stood back and watched her run with a smile on his face.

The loss of my special girl was the hardest yet because it was so unnecessary and could have been prevented if I’d just found her in time. When I found her dead in the yard I screamed and cried and tried to revive her.  I know the neighbors thought someone human had died. Just as bad to me, my best friend who I’d raised from a tiny baby was gone way before her time. I grieved worse for her than any of my bullies and my husband was sure there would never be another. He felt I’d never take a chance on being hurt again by the loss of a dog. I admit I thought that too for a few months as the pain just wouldn’t ease up.

That was when I got Zephyr, more for Wally who was grieving as badly as me. He is old and he just quit eating and was fading away so I got little Zephyr for him and it worked. He perked up and regained his appetite and started running around like a young dog again.

I love little Zephyr but she just isn’t a Bull Terrier and I started feeling the need again. I didn’t dare tell my husband because I knew what he would say. The one time I mentioned it he assumed I would wait until I retired and we moved back to the coast … that might be never. So I started looking sort of half-heartedly and then one night I ran across the ad for Sari and her picture just captivated me. I knew she was the one and against all odds or needs I got her.

Shortly after I got her home my job started going down the tube and I considered re-homing her for her own good in case I ended up without a job and broke. Every time I sat down to write an ad I just couldn’t do it. I was already hooked. Then of course there was the issue of her being so naughty, absolutely the worst bully I’ve ever had. What if someone took her who would beat her for her behavior? Her bad girl stuff started about two days after she arrived, before her name had been decided. I kept thinking about how I’d told my husband she was just necessary and I admit I was wondering why. So as I thought of the love/hate relationship we were having the name came. She was necessary but for what and why? Hence  her name, Nessa Sari ____ fill in the blank. Nessa Sari Evil, Nessa Sari Friend, Nessa Sari Frustration, Nessa Sari Love and a dozen other fill in the blanks, depending on how long she has been awake! She is getting better though and I think there is a truly good girl lurking somewhere in the background.

Yes, I did quit the job I had when I got Sari but God provided a better job and life goes on. I guess you just can’t give up on dogs, friends, loved ones or yourself. While there is life there is still hope and giving up should not be an option.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s