Used my spare time today getting ready for a very important interview and then the interview so didn’t get to blog and now off to work. But, tonight is sleep over at the house where the baby wakes up every hour or so, no sleep but lots of chance to blog! Taking my computer and not bothering to plan to sleep so check back later, there may be more!
Well here I am, 11:25 pm, waiting for the baby to wake up at midnight. That is usually his first wake up call and then it continues on through the night. I have been told that he has changed now and if you bring him into the staff room and put him in his special little bed he stays asleep the rest of the night. We’ll see. I haven’t pulled a sleep over shift for several weeks so maybe he has changed his ways and I will actually get some sleep tonight. But then there is the dripping tap in the bathroom right across the hall from the staff room. It is like Chinese water torture. It has gotten worse. It is the shower tap which drips into the tub. It used to be just the annoying sound of water dripping but now it is more like a drizzle and just enough water to cause a sound as it runs down the drain. From a distance it almost sounds like voices. So I’m all alone, except for the six kids, in a strange house, in a questionable neighborhood. I probably won’t get much sleep even if the baby never makes a sound!
All of the above is one or two of the reasons I was on another job interview today. I really want a different job, regular hours, hopefully beginning and ending while it is light and one where I don’t have to clean house, do laundry and sleep over night. I never liked sleeping in a strange bed, even in a luxury hotel and I sure don’t like a strange house in a not so safe neighborhood on a dark street .. oh I’m scaring myself now. It’s not that bad, I just want a change to a more normal job with a little less nervous stress and no late night driving home or staying.
And there he goes, 11:58, he must have an alarm clock. I left him in his own bed and patted him back to sleep. If he wakes up again I will move him in with me.
I’m very hopeful about the job I interviewed for. It is with an organization I’ve admired since I heard about the several years ago. They help people get back on track and move forward with their lives. They work mainly with homeless people, singles and families putting them in houses and training them to get back into the main stream of life, learning new skills for work and rebuilding self-esteem. When I talked with the 3-person panel I told them briefly that I once was homeless for a time and I could really relate to the people they help. Had it not been for the grace of God and people who encouraged me and helped me I could have ended up so badly. It gives me a real compassion for homeless people and I know that many of them end up that way by circumstances beyond their control.
When I was 34 I had an accident that should have left me dead but God wasn’t done with me yet and miracles happened, even claimed by my doctors. It wasn’t instant and sure not easy but I did survive. About a year after the accident, while I was still having problems and more surgeries, my husband left me for another woman. While I was in the hospital they went to our house and evicted me. They threw out all my stuff and changed the locks and I could not get back in my own home. I couldn’t work, had no income and there I was.
I had a dog grooming shop but I was not well enough to run it, so I hired full-time help which took all my profit. My mom came and ran the front desk for free. So I was homeless but not on the street because I was able to live in the back of my shop. It was illegal but I managed to keep anyone including my customers from knowing I was living there.
A friend found me a metal single bed frame in the trash and got an old mattress somewhere. I had a blanket and pillow from the stuff my husband and girlfriend threw out along with my clothes. I took baths in my dog grooming tub which was up off the ground so you could wash the dogs without bending over. I had to wait until late at night and bathe in the dark as my shop had a glass front and you could see clear through to the back from outside. There was a toilet but no kitchen facilities except for a coffee pot. It was primitive but far better than the street which would have been my only choice if I hadn’t had the shop.
Yes, there should have been something I could do about the injustice as I’d done nothing to deserve that kind of treatment. The home was as much mine as my husbands. But it did happen and I had no idea what to do other than what I did. My mind was so traumatized by the accident, the numerous surgeries, the drugs the doctors had me on and no one to turn to. I had been married for 16 years and my husband was my life. I was not a weak, let your husband run everything woman but it all came out of left field and took me totally off guard. Now, a lot of years later, it would be a whole different story but then I was just plain in trouble. The accident was a horrific one and it changed everything. When my husband left all our friends chose to be on his side. My brother was out of my life with his own problems. I had no family to help.
But God … but God put people in my path, free tires for my car when two went flat at one time and He gave me the courage to move on against all odds. I learned to trust Him, to lean on Him and to depend on Him in those days. God never let me down when everyone else turned their backs on me. The Lord was right there all the time. He healed my body so that I could finally get back to work. The doctors said I couldn’t work but I did. I took a job with a company I had worked for in the past and found a small partly furnished house to rent. I wrote them a check to hold it based on my first pay check I hadn’t banked yet and it all worked out.
It would take an entire book, which I am writing, to tell you all that God has done for me from that time til now. He is amazing. In those dark days He directed me to music that brought peace to my wounded soul. He taught me to write journals where I could tell Him all about my pain when I had no person to listen to my cries. He heard me cry myself to sleep all those nights and brought me joy in the morning in the smallest of ways. One thing that is so important to me is music, songs to God, about Him and His goodness. The music He brought me in those days had healing and restoring and I still cherish those songs. My favorite is, “Be not afraid, I go before you always, come follow me and I will give you rest.” That has been absolutely true for me and the only reason I am here today writing these words to you.
Because of my life I truly hope I get the job I interviewed for so I can give back some of the blessings I’ve been given.