You’re watching a movie or TV show where a shocking event just happened, leaving the characters hanging on a cliff or freezing to death or with a gun in their face as the trigger finger squeezes and suddenly … the screen goes black and a line appears saying, Ten Years ago … or 36 hours ago. I immediately go, “oh no, don’t do this to me, I can’t wait to see what happens next.”
Once they go back the years or hours and start the story, I quickly forget my disgust at having to wait and get into the story that got them in the place we left them. It usually works and I am glad the writer did it.
Due to a note, I got from someone who read my last blog I may retro back too and start at the beginning of my story. The person who read my blog and responded is not just any person but a very good long time friend of mine. I sometimes call him my spiritual adviser even though his words often make me mad at first. I totally denied something he told me about five years ago, only to discover in my studies in the last few weeks that he was spot on with his words. This proves that many times we cannot or will not see the truth in ourselves.
In his note, the writer says he wants me to stick the pitchfork in there and shovel it out – the good bad and ugly. He said,
“You’ve won and lost and seen more than any average group of twenty people put together – so – my immediate gut feeling while reading was – ‘what have you got to lose?’ its all a little too veiled, euphemistic, safe. There is so much you have done, seen, felt, thought so I want more. You’re just kind of making references instead of sticking the pitchfork in there and shoveling it out – the good bad and ugly. When I read – I love real and truth and the whole unsanitized picture cuz that’s the only picture that I get real wisdom from – anything less leaves me looking at a puzzle with missing pieces and trying to make sense of it without all the information I need. I love it when people lay it all out and show how crazy and pathetic and scared they really are and what incredible messes they create – because I’m crazy, pathetic and scared living in the mess I’ve made and I need all the help I can get!”
When I read his words, I know that I feel the same when I read life stories about real people or even novels. The worse the mess they get into and out of, the better I like it. Not because I want to see people hurt but because it gives me hope for my own messes and I realize I am not alone in it either. So in order to bring about that result, stick the pitchfork in and start shoveling, I have to go back over thirty years because I’ve been trekking around in the wilderness for a very long time.
I’ll be working on how to start and what to say in the next few days so keep reading and let me know what you think, even as my friend puts it, good, bad and ugly. He also says, “Just keep breathing.”