Come Back To Me

I have gone through some particularly stressful unhappy days since the end of last year. I have to say, it has all come about with no one to blame but ME. I was sure it was everyone else’s fault but God has brought it to my attention that it all came from my wrong attitude, which then led to a wrong decision. Worse yet He gently let me know this is not the first time I have let my attitude dictate my decisions instead of waiting on His leading. Time for change, but what a hard journey and where do I start? Start where you stand.

God will provide a way, the wisdom and strength to make the journey. I think what proves to me more than anything how much God really loves us is the way He works things out. He puts tools in our pathway, giant hints, signposts we cannot miss. He starts way ahead of time because He knows when and where we will stumble. I am completely amazed and in awe and in love with my God because He has demonstrated once again just how much He loves me. I believe I could write a blog a day for the rest of my years sharing what God has done for me and continues to do.

Remember a few days ago when I wrote about Reminders from the past ? I talked about the music that God had put in my path in the early 90’s in the midst of an overwhelming time of need. He knew in the early 90’s that John Michael Talbot would sing songs not yet written, that would minister to me in 2011 at this exact time in my life. He also knew I’d set the music aside, so He had someone send me an e-mail with one of Talbot’s new songs on it. That song reminded me that I had stepped away from God’s will. My love for those songs and need for healing worship, prompted me to look up and buy some of the new ones.

Now move the thought to books by gifted Christian writers. A few weeks ago, I ran across some books on Amazon that I knew God had directed me to. There were three in all, by James MacDonald. They were When Life Is Hard, Always True and Lord Change My Attitude.

My favorite device after my computer is my Kindle, e-book reader. The first time I spotted these books, they were not available in Kindle. A few days later, I was looking at something else and all three of the books were suddenly available as downloads to Kindle. OK God, I know there is something in them that You want me to learn.

I read When Life Is Hard first and wow, what a powerful book. He talks about trials and I finally saw the answers to years of hard times. God taught me in that book that I have been blaming others for things that go wrong for a long time.  I left the job He had placed me in for all the wrong reasons because of my attitude. I’ll talk about that more in future blogs.

Then I read Always True, which was beautiful. It teaches about the promises God has made to us and that they are all true. There was a healing in that book and an answer to peace during the trial I am in.

Now I am reading Lord Change My Attitude and it is tough. In this one he teaches about the wilderness experience we go though because of our attitudes. God is exposing things I don’t want to admit even to myself! But I am sticking to it because already I am feeling changes taking place in my spirit and my attitude. I feel a new closeness to God and His love and grace for me.

Then back to the songs. One of the songs I got last night brought it all together and I cried a lot of tears on my pillow. I put the earphones in, shut off the light and listened and I felt God Himself was calling to me. I knew it was His heart and yes, He has been waiting a long time for me, but I’m on my way back now. The wilderness has led me to my heart where God has spoken. Below are the lyrics to the song. I’ll leave it for you to read and listen for God speaking to you.

Hosea” by Gregory Norbert

Come back to me with all your heart,
don’t let fear keep us apart.
Trees do bend, tho’ straight and tall;
so must we to others’ call.

Long have I waited for your coming
home to me and living deeply our new life.

The wilderness will lead you
to your heart where I will speak.
Integrity and justice
with tenderness you shall know.

Long have I waited for your coming
home to me and living deeply our new life.

You shall sleep secure with peace;
faithfulness will be your joy.

Long have I waited for your coming
home to me and living deeply our new life.

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