by One Blue Horse (Charlene)
If that guy was a girl, that could be me … as I sit here on my couch with layers of clothes on plus a sweat shirt complete with hoodie, an electric throw, thick socks and finger-less gloves so I can keep my hands warm while typing on my laptop. I have a laptop stand that rolls around and I can pull it into the couch so I can study, watch videos and type what God shows me with my blanket over me. I am a Scribe of God’s Heart.
Go back three years…when God and I set out on this adventure of being a “Scribe of His Heart”. I didn’t have a clue what was coming nor could I put a name to the world I would soon be in.
I found myself stuck by circumstances in a town where I didn’t know anyone and did not want to be … My plan was to return to the Northern Territory where it was relatively dry and warm, hopefully back to my job working with Aboriginal people out in their villages as I had for six years. However God had a totally different picture of my future life.
“The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
I applied for dozens of jobs in my field, including my previous job, but nothing …. So I was truly stuck. Someone told me about Bill Johnson and teachings you could watch online, so I started watching to keep my mind from going crazy with boredom. Wouldn’t you know, nearly the first teaching I saw was about being a prisoner of hope.
“Return to the stronghold, You prisoners of hope. Even today I declare That I will restore double to you.” Zechariah 9:12
So I could put a name to what was happening. Then a second teaching on the same subject came my way unexpectedly … OK God I get it, I’m stuck here for a while as a prisoner of … hope I can move on … soon! That was three years ago and the start of my studies as God led me from one anointed teacher to another. I admit I was excited to have time to just study and read God’s word for hours. I have always loved reading and I am a writer but never had time for either, due to work, and now here I was, a prisoner of hope in a new life, based on a promise God had given me after the first 6 months of saying YES to what He asked.
Next He started encouraging me to start blogging again, so I did. About that time I made my second move to a different town. All seemed good and there was reverse cycle heating in two rooms and a working fireplace so I was assured of a warm winter. And then came spring and the rains and the house flooded inside 3 times. The flooding was confined to the kitchen, hallway and laundry room and sweeping out only took a couple hours and maybe the owner would repair the roof … but then came the mold in the walls and cupboards of the kitchen where the water came in through the wall under the roof.
Skipping all the sordid details; I moved again after 8 months to a lovely big house in the middle of a large vineyard with a fireplace that was said to heat the whole house! It was summer when I moved. Then introduce an early winter and one of the worst in the history of Australia!
May I digress at this time … I had prayed fervently over the next house I was to move to. It was my third move in less than three years, I wanted it to be God’s pick and not mine. I pulled off the road by the property and heard a definite, “peace” and “safety” in my spirit. It was nearly a miracle that I got it so I felt YES, God is in this!
Now back to winter … as in right now! The fireplace doesn’t work … and the owners don’t feel obligated to fix it since I also have a small electric wall heater. Sounds OK, except the wall heater heats the living room … sort of … and warms the open plan kitchen even less. I have shut off all the other rooms in the house. This is a brick house with no insulation so leaving the other rooms shut off from the heat is like being outside when you walk into them and makes for interesting trips to the bathroom. I sleep on the couch in the living room because the bedroom is too cold even with an electric blanket. In the living room even with the heater on full it only gets into the 60’s at the warmest part of day. For those of you with Celsius that is 16. It has been below freezing outside at night.
At first I was angry with God and had many tantrums as I hate being cold all the time. I lived most of my life in the desert region of Southern California so it is my inheritance to-not-like-cold. God had told me, against protest, to start using Facebook for HIS ministry, before winter. Once I realized the tool the internet is to reach the world I was happy to comply. So now I have daily study for words to put up for others to read. When I start in the morning my hands freeze hence the gloves, as I sit covered with my electric throw and layers of clothes.
I would lay on my couch at night, in the dark, trying to sleep, covered with blankets and still chilly and wonder how I got here in this place … oh yeah, God brought me. I’ve gone through stages of feeling like an orphan, a castaway, neglected by my Father and lots of anger and tears. But in the end I had to admit; 1) I could be so much worse off, a saying learned from my mother; 2) God is using every minute of this for my own good; 3) Summer will come eventually!
Bottom line is God will use everything in our lives to achieve what He wants us to become, to know our identity in Him and to be able to accept all the good things He intends for us. As I kept listening to His voice and reading all of His Words, I quit feeling sorry for myself and admitted I was growing closer to Him and learning more in this cold stronghold than I had in the past two years. He provided money to buy the electric throw which made all the difference at night when I turn the heater off to save money. I found once I got warm I could shut off the electric throw and stay warm all night.
God also directed me to make other changes, separating me from people and situations which were very hard at first but the abundant joy and peace I have now, far outweigh the losses. We must align with God and make our YES to him stick in our heart and soul no matter where He takes us. We cannot stay in an area to please people whether they are friends, family, church or even a job. If He moves you out He will have something far better waiting for you. So find the courage, faith and trust to move where God directs you and be content with the stops along the way even if they aren’t what you want for your life … God will only leave you there til you learn what you need for the next mile.
Sharing my heart and the heart of the Father! Be blessed and trust God above all. ~ Charlene